Hi!! *spastic moment*
I introduced myself in the last post, but that was while I was working on the Diabolical Duo. So, since this is a new blog (kind of), I have decided to re-introduce myself.
My name is Kelsey and I want you to join the zombie apocalypse! Or not. Whatever you're comfortable with.
Anyway, onto the blog!
I, being the musical virtuoso that I am (Ha... Even I had to laugh at that), have a room in my house devoted to musical instruments. In said room, I have: a piano, an organ, an acoustic guitar named Kennedy, an electric guitar name Jeffrey, a keyboard, various drums and harmonicas, and some stuffed frogs... Those were my dad's idea. Not mine. Quite honestly they kind of freak me out. Oh, I almost forgot to mention my prized possession! Frederick! He is my tiny guitar. He stands only 5 inches tall and has strings made of...well, string. My grandpa, in addition to giving me Kennedy, gave me Frederick. Fredrick now sits proudly on my piano....next to Hamilton the Harp-playing Stuffed Frog.
To be honest, I question my father's sanity sometimes. First of all, what would possess someone to go out and buy a slew of stuffed frogs playing various musical instruments, secondly, where the hell would one go about finding them, and thirdly WHY PUT THEM IN MY MUSIC ROOM!? Every time I try to remove them from my music room, they magically appear back in the exact positions they were in before. It's as if these tiny Mariachi Band of frogs was possessed by Lord Voldemort!!! Or not. I dunno. I think that the purchase of these little frogs is what caused our economy to crash. I mean, think about it: These frogs (sold at $5 a shot, as I have recently learned) first had to be caught by under-paid migrant workers, I figure that each worker was paid about $.50 per frog caught. Then, they had to be shipped to China. Now, as you and I both know, airfare has become very expensive as of late. So if you add the amount of money spent on air transportation for these frogs with the amount of money paid to catch them, it is about $500 per 89 frogs. After these frogs are brutally murdered by the Russian mafia (who must also be shipped to China, causing more spending) they must then be stuffed and dressed in tiny froggy clothing. I estimate about $309.40 spent for one frog (frog-clothing takes a considerable amount of tayloring). Now, seeing as they are only sold for $5, it is obvious that more money is lost from these sales than is gained. This led to our plummeting economy.
Thank you, love you, YEEHAW!!!
Afterword: More frog-related news! I was speaking with my dad this morning and he informed me that he got these frogs from Mexico (adding to the sum amount spent on each of these little buggers) and that they were also probably illegal. Why? Because they were treated with arsenic. You may be saying "Like, the poison Arsenic?!", to which I will respond "No, the dessert topping, you silly sod." (that is an almost direct quote from the conversation with my dad... but he didn't say "silly sod". I just like that.). So not only are these frogs poisonous to my eyes, they are also poisonous to my body if I were to lick one of these frogs... Why would I be licking frogs? That's for me to know and for you to never know.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
And Then There Were Two...
Oh, why hello! I didn't see you there sitting at your computer. Let me introduce myself. My name is Kelsey and I am Part One of the Diabolical Duo. You are probably asking yourself "Who is this duo and why are they so hot?!...er...diabolical. This is a very valid question that I will be answering... when the time comes.
The time has come.
You are probably aware of the earthquake that occured in Haiti a few months ago (if you are not, you have now emerged from your rock and your eyes have now been opened to the situation). Our school, which for the sake of privacy issues I have decided to name Hogwarts, started a project in which we collect money for the earthquake victims. The plan was that all students would collect paper money to put in their Money Buckets, and that all metal money (dimes, quarters, etc.) would contribute to the "bombing" of other classrooms and that the amount of "bomb" money each room had would be subtracted form their total of paper money. Whichever class had the greatest amount of paper money by the end of the contest would win an ice cream party. Now, my friend Sarah (Part Two of the duo) and I were merely freshmen at Hogwarts and we decided to get involved. So what did we do? We asked our friend Rachel (whom we also refer to as Ravenclaw), for her bag or quarters and dimes. Which class did we plan to bomb? The Seniors, of course. They think that they are so high and mighty! Let me tell you something, just because you are old and wrinkly and tall and smarter than me does not mean that you are better than me! Ahem. After school, Sarah and I decided to sneak into a senior homeroom and bomb their money bucket with $30 dollars worth of quarters and dimes. Our target homeroom: Mista Naughty. Our theology teacher. (Again, for privacy's sake, we had to change her name. But if you say it fast enough, you can tell who it is...) We snuck into Mista Naughty's homeroom like ninjas and began to scour the room. Finally after a few minutes of searching we found the box hidden in plain sight! Only a true villain would hide a box in plain sight! Oh, the dispair! We ran to the now obvious box and began emptying the Bag O' Cash into it. The coins made a satisfying noise when they entered the box. As we began to leave, a thought crossed my mind: "Such deviousness as this needs to be recognized by the world!". I ran over to Mista Naughty's desk and grabbed a sticky note. I quickly scrawled "You have been bombed by KELSEY AND SARAH." and stuck the note on the box. We then fled the scene of the crime whilst laughing like psychopaths. Devious psychopaths. The next day in scripture class Mista Naughty entered the room with an amused smile on her face. We knew that she had gotten our note... Either that, or that chili that she had eaten at lunch had not agreed with her system. She went to the front of the class and announced "I came into class this morning to see that my box had been filled to the top with change! The diabolical duo that did this was...Kelsey and Sarah!" After a lovely bit of laughter and appluase, the Diabolical Duo was born.
So that's basically it. The next post will be from my cohort: Sarah.
I hope you have enjoyed your time with Part One of the Diabolical Duo.
The time has come.
You are probably aware of the earthquake that occured in Haiti a few months ago (if you are not, you have now emerged from your rock and your eyes have now been opened to the situation). Our school, which for the sake of privacy issues I have decided to name Hogwarts, started a project in which we collect money for the earthquake victims. The plan was that all students would collect paper money to put in their Money Buckets, and that all metal money (dimes, quarters, etc.) would contribute to the "bombing" of other classrooms and that the amount of "bomb" money each room had would be subtracted form their total of paper money. Whichever class had the greatest amount of paper money by the end of the contest would win an ice cream party. Now, my friend Sarah (Part Two of the duo) and I were merely freshmen at Hogwarts and we decided to get involved. So what did we do? We asked our friend Rachel (whom we also refer to as Ravenclaw), for her bag or quarters and dimes. Which class did we plan to bomb? The Seniors, of course. They think that they are so high and mighty! Let me tell you something, just because you are old and wrinkly and tall and smarter than me does not mean that you are better than me! Ahem. After school, Sarah and I decided to sneak into a senior homeroom and bomb their money bucket with $30 dollars worth of quarters and dimes. Our target homeroom: Mista Naughty. Our theology teacher. (Again, for privacy's sake, we had to change her name. But if you say it fast enough, you can tell who it is...) We snuck into Mista Naughty's homeroom like ninjas and began to scour the room. Finally after a few minutes of searching we found the box hidden in plain sight! Only a true villain would hide a box in plain sight! Oh, the dispair! We ran to the now obvious box and began emptying the Bag O' Cash into it. The coins made a satisfying noise when they entered the box. As we began to leave, a thought crossed my mind: "Such deviousness as this needs to be recognized by the world!". I ran over to Mista Naughty's desk and grabbed a sticky note. I quickly scrawled "You have been bombed by KELSEY AND SARAH." and stuck the note on the box. We then fled the scene of the crime whilst laughing like psychopaths. Devious psychopaths. The next day in scripture class Mista Naughty entered the room with an amused smile on her face. We knew that she had gotten our note... Either that, or that chili that she had eaten at lunch had not agreed with her system. She went to the front of the class and announced "I came into class this morning to see that my box had been filled to the top with change! The diabolical duo that did this was...Kelsey and Sarah!" After a lovely bit of laughter and appluase, the Diabolical Duo was born.
So that's basically it. The next post will be from my cohort: Sarah.
I hope you have enjoyed your time with Part One of the Diabolical Duo.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
