Wednesday, May 11, 2011


I'm a happy person. Like, legitimately happy. I just realized that a few weeks ago.
This is going to sound snobby and presumptuous, but I've been through a lot of crap in my life. I've caused a lot of it, but I've also been the subject of some of it. I realized that I dwell on things a lot. Like, if I know that I've done something bad that I feel horrible about, I can't forgive myself for it and I just keep beating myself up about it.
A few weeks ago, I just forgave myself. Like that. I don't know how it happened, but it just did. I still stress out over things (Oh, yeah, there's lots of that), but I just... I don't know. There's a sense of peace to my life now. I know, corny, right? But it's true. I just realized that I really am a really lucky person. I'm alive (that's always nice), I have a great family who loves me, and I have friends that I would give my life for (that's not even a joke). This year has been...eventful, to say the least. I've had highs and lows. But this year I've learned to love my friends and family at a new level. Also very corny. I have a very corny life. I like corn... Especially the way they make it at Chili's. Chili's has really attractive waitstaff. Like this one guy named Jesus (pronounced hay-soos). ANYWAY. Yes, there was a period earlier this year where I felt like my friends just hung out around me because they felt sorry for me or something. It might be true. But I realized that as long as I love them, it doesn't matter. I heard on an episode of Samantha Who (my new obssession since I finished Ugly Betty) that "the joy in life is not in hearing the words 'I love you', but in being lucky enough to say them". SO MUCH CORN. But seriously, it's true. Who knew that The TV was good sometimes? I also learned (from Samantha Who) that rich people smell like cupcakes. Yum.


  1. hey's Eben...COMMENTING.
    yes, your life just exploded in awesome, I'll give you a minute to collect yourself.
    Anyways Mrs. I don't give Eben my blog--I found this through Sarah L's :)
    And as to this post: I have NEVER hung out with you because I felt sorry for you. I always thought you were cooler than me, and that was slightly cowing, but how could I be sorry for somebody as awesomelyriffic as you? O.o

  2. I don't find this super corny, I like it.
    I'm really glad that you're happy. So glad, I'm happy when my friends are happy. (corny...)
    I know what you mean about the lot of crap in your life. Like when I think about it, I haven't been through shit, I have so much. But it just feels like I've been through so much sometimes.
    I think I would literally die for my friends too. And I'm glad you guys are cool enough that I can have that. But I still have flashes of feeling like some of you guys would rather hang out with other people than me. But some days are better than others.
    I've never been to Chili's.... But I'll take your word on the corn.

  3. mow Kelseybells, I'm also really glad you're happy. I'm not--at the moment--but things are looking up and I'm finding my way there :)

    I don't like Chili's corn!

  4. AAHHH! Eben and Sarah comments?! *life explodes*. You guys rock. Like the corn at Chili's. Eben likes the Chili's corn, she just doesn't know it yet.
    I definitely love hanging out with both of you. Like, a lot. A lot a lot.
    We are all going to Chili's. Be prepared.

  5. DRAWWWRG- You may not even see this comment, which is quite sad. But if you do, then all will be well.

    Congratulations on being happy with your life. I mean it. And yes, in a corny way. Some people take that for granted. Many don't realize how much they have, and that they are beating themselves up needlessly. I'm not dunking the concept of reincarnation, but for this comment's sake, let's say you've only got one life. AND DAMN IT, you best make the best of it. Mistakes included, by you and others.

    Also, Kelsey, people are your friend because of you. Seriously. There are only a few people that I consider to be genuine people (most of which spend their lunch in the Courtyard), and you are one. A rather significant one, at that. Like, the Courtyard made me realize WHY people say you always remember your high school friends. Even if... really bad, avoidable things happen, and they have... we are the type of people who can forgive. Maybe not forget, because there are some things we can never forget. But forgiveness... forgiveness.... EVEN IF... EVEN IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*trails off*

    But yes. Great post :)