I'm a happy person. Like, legitimately happy. I just realized that a few weeks ago.
This is going to sound snobby and presumptuous, but I've been through a lot of crap in my life. I've caused a lot of it, but I've also been the subject of some of it. I realized that I dwell on things a lot. Like, if I know that I've done something bad that I feel horrible about, I can't forgive myself for it and I just keep beating myself up about it.
A few weeks ago, I just forgave myself. Like that. I don't know how it happened, but it just did. I still stress out over things (Oh, yeah, there's lots of that), but I just... I don't know. There's a sense of peace to my life now. I know, corny, right? But it's true. I just realized that I really am a really lucky person. I'm alive (that's always nice), I have a great family who loves me, and I have friends that I would give my life for (that's not even a joke). This year has been...eventful, to say the least. I've had highs and lows. But this year I've learned to love my friends and family at a new level. Also very corny. I have a very corny life. I like corn... Especially the way they make it at Chili's. Chili's has really attractive waitstaff. Like this one guy named Jesus (pronounced hay-soos). ANYWAY. Yes, there was a period earlier this year where I felt like my friends just hung out around me because they felt sorry for me or something. It might be true. But I realized that as long as I love them, it doesn't matter. I heard on an episode of Samantha Who (my new obssession since I finished Ugly Betty) that "the joy in life is not in hearing the words 'I love you', but in being lucky enough to say them". SO MUCH CORN. But seriously, it's true. Who knew that The TV was good sometimes? I also learned (from Samantha Who) that rich people smell like cupcakes. Yum.